Johannesburg - For many people, the sex subject is not something they ever discussed with their parents, or, in many South African homes, with the grandparents who were their primary caregivers.
The first episode of the Showmax Original, “Sex and Pleasure”, delves deep into the subject, giving insights that could assist viewers in building a better understanding of sex, gender and bodies.
The show is now streaming, with new episodes every Wednesday until April 26, 2023.
Hosted by writer Kim Windvogel and journalist Romantha Botha, the adults-only documentary series will take a broader view of what South Africans get up to behind closed doors.
The first episode features a diverse range of South Africans talking openly about their first experiences with sex and sex education.
It is noted that some of the interviewees weren’t even prepared for their first periods and pubic hair, let alone their first sexual experiences.
"Honestly, this is a hundred times better than I had thought it would be," says Izak de Vries on Litnet.
"I loved the way Kim Windvogel and Romantha Botha normalised sex talk. This is not a dirty little thing to watch under the blanket. Every parent, every teacher, and every partner can learn from the experts, who explain things in a way even I can understand," says De Vries.
The series unpacks the experience of a father whose daughter is 21 but is still waiting for the right time to have the sex talk, which he hopes means she is not having sex yet.
But according to a study of 10 000 South African pupils, 40% of teenagers have had sex, and 13% of those were under 14-years-old.
In 2021–2022, there were over 90 000 teenage births in the public sector alone.
"If you don’t talk to your children about sex, someone else or something else will teach them instead, with Cosmopolitan magazine, porn, books, TV, and graffiti all getting credit from interviewees."
As Kerline Astre, a parent and sacred BDSM practitioner, says, "People who are parents know that you aren’t the only person raising your child."
According to Dr Mpume Zenda, studying to become a gynaecologist did not involve learning about sexual pleasure.
"There’s literally a blip of a chapter about sexual dysfunction, nothing more, nothing less," she says. "The whole curriculum revolves around reproductive health, and yet the core of it, nobody really talks about," says Zenda.
"I think the lack of sex talk made me very vulnerable in terms of my own sexual experiences," says Nthabiseng Mokwena, a parent and intersex activist.
"You don’t know what to expect. You don’t know what you need to do. You don’t know what this means. So you just go out there and completely freestyle, right? And freestyling can lead to, you know, very negative consequences. And even with those negative consequences, you don’t have anyone to talk to. Because you’re talking about something that should not be spoken about in the community, in the household, or in the family. So it just creates this loop of bad sexual experiences," Mokwena said.
Some of the interviewees shared stories of grooming and rape that are every South African parent’s nightmare.
"I’m sorry to say that unfortunately a lot of children who are not prepared properly do end up in the offices of lawyers like me," says public attorney Sanja Bornman, a gender law and public policy specialist.
The Star